NOTHING

HERE I AM
an exhausted pillar
quickly chirping into disrepair
where my foundation is breaking

HERE I AM
a bearer of myself
an extenuating pile of gabbage
my use lying in only being discarded

HERE I AM
with my strength taken away
and my legs melting underneath me
and my heart in my farmer's palms

HERE I AM
all feeling and no logic
all pain and no respite
all longing and no fulfilment
all accepting of my position

HERE I AM
helpless
for you hide, while i seek and find not
because thou whilst me not to
I call and i know you hear
but you answer only under your breath

HERE I AM
a failed vessel
my offering is struck down
and nightmare has come
i choke on words that should please you
and your eyes bleed from a sight that should fill you

my fear is my lunch
and your love is the leftover
you do not need to speak
but i need to hear it

I AM NOTHING.

Dear you

It is a new day
and i have just stopped crying my heart out
not because i really wanted to
but because i almost had no reason to keep crying
is that reflective or just plain annoying
to continue to abide in sorrow?
What if i enjoy it??

It has begun to rain
and i run underneath her pelting shield
and scream my lungs out
i should have the shakes afterward
and a few days later, wake up to a cold
while i use tissue after handkerchief
but what if i enjoy it??

It is a day on my bed
with an illness that would not let go of my body
residing and exploring in every nerve ending
with a wrapper that is tied around my chest
torn at the side, and fading after each wash
while i down each medicine with fanta
so i think again...
...maybe i just plain enjoy it.